Main chicks vs Side Chicks and the battle for first place in an idiot race

Main Chicks vs Side Chicks and the battle for first place in an idiot race

 

Upon my wonderings on a social networking site called Facebook I happened upon a comment made by a very sharp young women calling herself, ‘Itsdiamondrose’. Ms. Rose had this to say on relationships. “I don’t understand why people say ‘Main Chick and ‘side check’…If her man has a side chick…Nobody’s the main chick…period…I be seeing girls talking about ‘Yeah I’m the Main and she the side’… Do you know how ridiculous and stupid you sound”. Well put Ms. Rose but your statement brings to light something as old as time itself, Infidelity. There have always been men who’ve kept mistresses or participated in short affairs. And subsequently there have always been women who have looked the other way.

       

     In the times of old women had little other choice. For one many people did not bother to educate their daughters in an effort to keep them pure and subservient so some poor girls went directly from the authority of their father to the authority of their husband.  Divorce was unprecedented in most places and men literally had all the power in relationships. During these dark days the philosophy that all men cheat began to circulate and took hold. This was obviously an overstatement thought up by a group of cheating men to justify their behavior. Yet many women accepted it docilely having no means or opportunities to care for themselves. While others secretly poisoned their husbands and lived happily as a widow there after (These woman were pioneers)

   

     But times have changed women outnumber men in college enrollment and out earn them in many areas. If a lady has the will she can make a handsome living for herself and choose who she wants to be with. There is no longer a need to dine with the devil just to eat. And for the first time in a long time men outnumber women in the world by 50 million so there is no shortage of men. So why are some women willing to share I wonder. Why would any sane being want to be in a committed relationship with someone who is blatantly not committed to them? To be clear I’m referring to women who knowingly stay with habitual cheaters not a man who made one mistake. Let’s try and examine this from both angles using classic titles, Wife and Mistress.

   

     We’ll begin with wife. Now this is tricky since prior to the sexual revolution all courtship led to marriage, ruination for the girl, or nowhere. Of course many women found ways around the double standard of forced purity for women and excused debauchery for men. They either found husbands who didn’t care about their lack of a hymen or pretended to still have one.  Now a days a virgin bride is hardly expected or even desired by most men but the double standard on chastity still exists. Even though the theme of the day is that people should explore their options before settling down a women’s marriage prospects will considerably dwindle if she’s labeled a slut. If a man has many partners he’s considered a Mac, player, pimp, suave, lucky and a number of things that make him sound cool.

 A women who did the same would be labeled a skank, tramp, whore, thot and whatever else made her sound dirty. So it’s possible some women put up with cheating men because like their male counterparts they enjoy frequent sex and don’t want to add notches to their bedpost while trying to find a new man.

     A committed relationship sealed by verbal agreement to be faithful to one another takes care of a girl’s desires until she until she can get her man to take those sacred vows. So one theory is that the ‘Main chick’ puts up with infidelity in hopes that her cheating man will make an honest women of her by giving her his last name. This begs another question, why would anyone want a sham of a marriage with an unfaithful husband? That would be like winning first place in an idiot competition where the first prize is an STD. There could be several reasons one might consent to such a thing. This is most expertly explored in Eddie Murphy’s Raw where he chronicles the fallacy of relationships today.

 

      Men and women approach intimacy from two different angles. Most of the time women approach the subject with a certain level of attachment and men with detachment. For example Mr. Murphy talked about women who abstained from sex in their relationship claiming to want to make love instead of fuck. But it was turned around on them when they found their man cheating and that man said “I fucked that girl I did, I fucked her. I make love to you.

 

          So the ‘Main chick’ might believe their loyalty will eventually be returned. Which is absurd since the arrangement is too sweet for their partner who gets to sleep with whoever he wants and if he can’t find anything better for the evening come home to you. If you’ve caught your lover cheating five times please let go of the pipedream that he will stop. You can choose to stay with him if you like, it’s your life, but at least be honest with yourself. If you have some delusion that he’ll eventually see how much you care about him and stop hurting you dream on.

     Even if he does love you in his own selfish way allowing his infidelity gives him the impression that he’s doing you a favor by being with you or he figures if you were truly hurt you would have left for good long ago.  Also love and loyalty are born of a mutual respect and allowing yourself to be used as a doormat does not garner respect.

    Another reason may be as basic as survival. While it is no longer necessary women to marry well to survive and many women take pride in having their own careers some chicks just plain don’t want to work for the material things they desire, point blank period. This type of woman often lacks integrity and is thrilled that though hold some sort of status over another women even if they share the same man. To quote Eddie Murphy in his cult classic ‘Raw’, the so called Main may believe that the shared man makes loves to her while he only fucks the side.

   Then there is the self-loathing emotional masochist who believes it’s just a woman’s place not to question her man. Which brings us to the ‘Side Chick’. Now some mistakenly believe they all simply have low self-esteem. This is true with the self-loathing mistress/side just as it’s sometimes true for Wife/Main. In fact the wife/mistress can share a lot of qualities such as putting up with a worthless man for basic survival and hopes of marriage. But the type of mistress/side people often forget about is the man eater.

   Now this is the type of women who is as bad as or worse than any man who dares call himself a player. If she wanted your man you’d probably never see him again. This type of women specifically seeks out men who are already married or in committed relationships because she does not want a man but wants to get laid, paid and laugh at you in the shade. Like her male counterpart, the player, she her reasons vary, a general lack of trust, having been hurt before, takes pleasure in the suffering of others, a love of the ‘kill’ or ability to make someone else your fool. It all comes down to a general lack of respect for the sanctity of relationship because they plan don’t believe in them.

  It may sound as if this type of women should be least pitied but the truth about them and their male counterparts, the players, is that they are dead inside. Of course it’s important to remember that everyone in this discussion, including the man, has low self-esteem. Whether they are the player or man eater who must validate themselves by stepping on others to prove others are beneath them. Or if they are the self-loathing emotional masochist who just don’t think they deserve any better. So if you are involved in a lust triangle (no such thing as a love triangle, love does no harm) get help, therapist, preacher, mentor. Anyone who can help you discover the root of your sickness because love exists and you are deserving of it.