Dear Scribe

Dear Scribe,

 

I wrote to you after reading Main chicks vs Side Chicks. Me and my man having been living together for 15 years. We got three kids and a house together. We’re not married and I guess I don’t really care about that but he keeps cheating. Not that he has a side chick or anything like that. But he just got a lot of hoes he sleeps around with and they keep calling me. My friends are tired of hearing about it they just tell me to leave him but I worked to hard for the life we have now. I want to keep my family together plus he makes most of the money and I like my house and all my nice things. So I guess I just don’t know what to do. It bothers me that he keeps cheating and I was hoping somebody somewhere could give me advice on how to make him stop. I’m already a good wife. I cook, clean and work out so my body right. IDK I was just hoping you’d have some advice. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask since I read your blog and y’all seem pretty sharp.

-Main Chick

Dear Main Chick,

 

Salutations mere mortal. First I’d like to address the fact that I did not write the article that prompted you to contact me. My long time cohort Brittany was the culprit but since you’ve address me I will surely respond. Secondly I’d like to express my disbelief that you actually read the article you claim instead of just reading the title. I find it hard to believe you could have read the article and still saw fit to bedevil me with this ridiculous question. According to your missive for years you have fed and screwed your “Man” as well as spewed his seed from your loins three times, in return he provides you with shelter and security and if the six years you’ve been with him is any indication you are happy with this arrangement.

  There is a reason you and your partner suit. He likes to have sexual relations with lots of women but still enjoys the security of a committed relationship. He just doesn’t like the whole commitment part. You also enjoy having him around but it seems you harbor hopes of a deeper commitment than he is willing to offer. Despite all evidence to the contrary you hope to obtain the type of relationship you’ve been dreaming of instead of the one you’re involved in. Worry not the scribe is here to give you the advice your friends have not. As to your request for advice of stopping this free thinking and moving adult from doing what he desires I refer you to reality. Grownups are free to do as they wish and there is no stopping that, period. God himself does not interfere with free will so there is no blueprint for such a thing.

   Since you obviously intend on pursuing life with this gentlemen I suggest you adjust your own behavior as you certainly cannot adjust his. You do this by accepting the things you cannot change and changing the things you can. If you cannot change the fact that your gentleman’s other mistresses persist in calling you change your reaction. Instead of becoming upset and allowing them to know they’ve been successful in riling you respond with nonchalance. For example say you receive a phone call from one of your lover’s other women and they say something along the lines of, “I’m fucking your man,”

  Instead of becoming upset perhaps you can look at and state the positive by saying something like “Well I hope it was good because I have a house, his babies, and he’s here every night. All you got was some dick so I hope it was good.” Undoubtedly this sort of exchange will be upsetting but your battle is not with your lover’s lover whom you’ve never met and owe you nothing but with your lover. So you should bring the issue to him instead. Let him know in no uncertain terms that while you have dealt with his infidelity you will not be subject to shame. Since you two are common law married and have three children you do have certain rights. If you were to obtain the right lawyer and leave him you could have the house, lots of his hard earned money and he would have to hope toothpaste was on sale at the dollar store. For goodness sakes take back some power in your “relationship” and get some standards even if they’re no more than scandal and disease as deal breakers.

  Main chick you seem only slightly dumber than your race of people so you’re smart enough to figure out what you want. It will require you to be honest with yourself and realize that the infidelity will not cease. Also realize that if you’ve dealt with it for six years if must not bother you so much. Perhaps you just care that it bothers everyone else. Well everyone else is not in your “relationship”. It’s just you, your man and all those other women. Since you’re not fond of those other women you and your boyfriend need to have a candid discussion about what you expect of each.

   If you’re okay with the cheating and don’t like the harassing phone calls reel your boy in by telling him the truth. “I’ve put up with the cheating but I will not put up with the shame. I’m going to change my phone number and if one of your little girlfriends gets it my god have mercy on your soul. If after all you’ve put up with he can’t concede to that then follow your friends’ advice and leave him silly human.

  Dear Readers,
 
  I'd like to thank and apologize to who ever decided to write to the scribe. It was good for the scribe to flex her mind muscles and she encourages all who seek advice to reach out to her as well.
-Brittany