Leave prison bae 2.0 alone!

  Real quick Imma need y'all to stop hating on chocolated prison bae. See what chu not gon' do is act like he ain't finer than a muhfucker. I mean look at those different colored eyes and those cheek bones.yet miraculously some of y'all can look all of that fineness to complain. In all fairness most of the haters are men. The female haters are simply deranged so I won't waste precious digital paper on. I will suggest that you seek intensive psycho therapy or at the very least get your eyes checked.
  Back to you male haters, stop. Just. Stop. We all know what your real problem is. You figure since he gon' get more bitches, (I'm a woman so I can say it. A sure fire way to know if a woman loves her homegirls is if she greets them as biiiitch and numerous variations of bitch. But if your called you his bitch dump him. No argument.) N-E way guys recognize that prison bae will be getting more bitches with his new found fame. Consistently if he's getting more bitches they'll be less bitches to go around.
  So instead of admitting that they're jealous they make these moral equivocations which don't even begin to conceal the green eyed demon festering within the depths of their souls. A prime example of this ridiculous shaming of natural female list, ( whole notha blog. See how not to be a thot). So there was this dude on instgram who shared a picture of a solider with the following caption, "This is Sergeant what's his name, (hey I don't know prison bae's name either so don't judge).
  "Sergeant what's his name risks his life to defend your rights and y'all 'round here praising a convict." Now my dad is a solider and a very dapper fella so I feel justified in saying shut that shit up. Like hold up wait a minute let me me point out the hypocrisy in this. So you gon' tell me that when y'all out cher liking booty pics you vet the women with the bangin booty but cheeks. So in your quest to find the most lucios of booties and breatises you must Google them and should you discover they were arrested for shop lifting you'd be so offended as to stop mid jerk.
   You'd say to yourself self,self, the audicity of this woman to deceive I the most honorable men into besting my meat to her a woman of her low moral character. My word the shame, oh the soul crushing shame. I shall find a lady solider or perhaps a doctor to masterbate to. That sound crazy don't it. Prison bae is not still in jail so I murder and or rape anyone. I hope he didn’t assault anyone. I can no longer listen to R Kelly's honey sweet crooning in good consious. I lost Slow Jam damn it. You may take my Slow Jam but you will never take my freedom to feast my eyes upon eye candy.