Rejection, it's actually a good thing,

We all know how bad it felt the first time rejection stung us, and changed us. In that moment we were first introduced to self-doubt and it stuck with us. How could it not when our entire upbringing and educational system is hinged upon valuing the opinions of others over our own. We learn by following the herd but I digress. This is the story of how the very rejection that so wounds us is our savior, our salvation. Here are just a few ways rejections has probably changed your life for the better without you even knowing it. 

• ·         When we were kids: Remember that time at the park when little sally bitch face didn’t want to play with you. Well that was your first lesson in boundaries. Sally didn’t have to like you, play with you or bother to explain why and it wasn’t the end of the world. In all likelihood you later learned that Sally wasn’t your cup of tea either. Everyone wasn’t meant to be your friend but we can still co-exist by being polite and respectful of each other’s boundaries. Too often as adults we feel pressured to force ourselves to pretend like we like people that we don’t. Then we get upset when others won’t pretend to like us back.
• ·         Your personal life: Which brings us to rejections in our personal life. I know I said it before it’s worth reiterating. Nobody has to like you. They don’t have to call back, text back, or follow back. A lot of us have a harder time accepting this than we’re willing to admit. I’ve seen memes, videos, and tweets solely dedicated to shaming people who don’t like us. My favorite is the clip of Steve Harvey shaming a set of twin sisters for their immediate dismissal of two men he’d given a make under to deliberately make them less attractive.
•     You read that correctly. He had a crew of makeup artist deliberately make two men appear less attractive according to HIS OWN standards by giving them bad wigs and poor fitting clothing, then screamed at the women for not being attracted to them. Wasn’t that the whole point of giving them a make under?  We all claim to prefer honesty over having our time wasted but then we turn around and say things like, “All these girls want a thug or a bad boy, and nice guys finish last.” Or “Good women get tossed aside while these hoes get wifed.” If you’re not a thug why would you want a woman who only dates thugs? Perhaps that means she’s a thug too and you ain’t bout that life. And if you’re a woman why would you want a man who only dates so called hoes. I think that would make him a pimp or some kind of man whore himself. Ultimately the important thing to ask yourself is why you even want someone who doesn’t want you back. Without you knowing it rejections has saved you weeks, months or perhaps years of misery.
  
• ·         In your professional life: Now this one right here has always been a sore spot with me. The first time I was turn down for a job sent me into a little mini depression. That was until I later found a higher paying job. It may be hard to accept but there are some great opportunities out there that are simply not meant for you and that’s okay. Just like you learned that Sally’s friendship wasn’t the end all and be all of you existence on this earth you’ll learn that getting turned down for your dream job or being passed over for that promotion can be the best thing that ever happened to you. Ed O’Neil (Al Bundy from married with children and Jay Prichet from Modern family) and Terry Cruz (Damion from Friday after next and Julius from Everybody hates Chris) were both cut from the NFL before they became actors. Yet they found success in industries without the threat of regular concussions.  

As you can see rejections has been given a bad rap. The opinions of others are not a reflection of your worth. If you offer someone a pot of gold and they refuse it doesn’t make the gold worthless. Not everybody likes gold but that doesn’t stop gold from shining.