How not to be a THOT! (A Satire)

Hello Ladies,

    I feel I’m not alone in noticing some confusion about female sexuality in the modern world. Actually when it comes to female sexuality you’d be hard pressed to distinguish the modern world from pre-historic times. There are countless titles that may be employed at a moment’s notice to shame a women for daring to own her sexuality in any way. Yet that doesn’t stop certain pathetic specimens of male under achievement from inventing more. 

    The newest accolade a women can aspire to during her perilous journey to find the mystical orgasm is a thot. Perhaps as a woman you're not yet ready to stop giving a fuck and care way too much about what society thinks of you. If so I have a solution. Below will be several helpful hints on pleasing others instead of yourself, enjoy!   

     Dress how you want to be addressed. This is my personal favorite. You see ladies you’ve been walking around your entire life thinking that your life, body and choices are your own. Even if you walk out of the house with an outfit you bought with your own money thinking what you chose to put on your own body was for your own enjoyment you’re wrong. Your entire life revolves around men, pleasing and appeasing them. 

    You don’t get to do anything that doesn’t revolve around them because they rule the world (world leaders, presidents, CEOs, clergy, preachers etc). That means if you choose to wear less clothing because it’s hot or even worse you want to and some pervert molests you it’s your own fault according to rapper/preacher/father and the trifecta of misogyny Rev. Run. Some men just can’t be bothered with trying to control themselves when they’re so busy trying to control you. 

      Your entire life revolves around becoming someone’s wife. You don’t get to have dreams, aspirations, or desires that don’t involve motherhood and matrimony. Of course men can reach for the stars while fucking their way through hundreds of women, yet amazingly still being unable to locate the clitoris. As a women the only thing you better reach for is a serving platter, a baby bottle or a dick.

    Next don’t ever have sex. Men get to have sex on you. You are not to enjoy it or try to enjoy it. There are still men in this day and age who think they should get head without giving it. Now you may have thought these ridiculous men were just selfish assholes but you were wrong. Of course men should expect to derive pleasure from sex without giving any. It doesn’t matter if it’s illogical or makes no sense. You see men want to have sex with you but if you let them without a ring on it you’re a whore. 

    Your vagina is a bargaining chip for food and shelter because your feeble female brain can’t manage these things on your own. So if you,vet been walking around feeding and clothing yourself and expecting pleasure from sex you’re a whore. As well as everything that’s wrong with society. It’s why the men with the most sexual partners are likely to be worst in bed. They understand the caste system where women are at the bottom. These men you've always thought were just assholes are the leaders of tomorrow just as they were in the past. 

    Finally don’t you ever, ever, never have an opinion. This the most important. Your opinion must mirror that of your father’s and then husbands. Maybe you didn’t have a father due to the prison industrial complex or said father not giving a fuck. Additionally perhaps you’re too young to marry. If so that’s your fault. You shouldn’t have been born to a father who wasn’t there. Your mother should have made him put a ring on it first so since she didn’t you inherited being a whore. 

    Without a man to fend for you, you developed a toxic independence. You see if your father decided to abandon both you and your mother l should have died of exposure long ago. If you didn’t you and your mother are whores. Yet even though you're prohibited from thinking for yourself will certainly perclude you from gainful employment you still don't to get be a gold digger. 

    The ideal situation would be you coming from a wholesome obviously rich family. That way your father can hand you over with a nice fat trust fund which you may promptly hand over to your husband to further his ambitions. Sure it seems like an archiac attempt at imposing high born moral standards on the mere peasants we're seen as by the rich elite. Though It's not so archaic. Their are people fighting tooth to make sure the world doesn't change much at all. So mimicking your betters is the only way to go.

   So there you have it. If you thought being a whore just meant preforming sex acts for a set amount of money from multiple men you were wrong. Also if you happen to be a traditional whore that takes sex for money it’s also your own fault. It’s doesn’t matter if you were a teenage run away, who happened to be running away from a family member who molested you. You deserve that jail time along with your kidnapper/pimp.

  In summation, I hope it’s abundantly clear that this was meant in jest. It’s sad that I have to point that out. The world should be the opposite of the above but sadly it isn’t. Oh and to the millions of decent hard working men out there with their own set of struggles, trials, and tribulations I’m clearly not talking to you. So don’t come round here with some, “not all men,” shit because duh. 

   If you feel the need to defend yourself against a crime no one accused you of you sound hella suspect. So if I say something like, “Hey did y’all hear about that lady who raped her dog. She’s sick in the head,”  And you respond, “Well I have a dog and I don’t rape it. Why do you think everyone with a dog rapes it? I love my dog!” I’m naturally going to be like, okay why is he being so defensive?  I never said he raped his dog. I just said it was horrible that someone would do that. He’s acting really guilty and it’s weird so I think I should make an anonymous call or something. So save it, we get it you don’t subjugate women and you rape your dog, hopefully.