Choosing

Life is full of choices. We are faced with them every day and despite what some may think it is our choices above all else that shape the people we are. It’s why we seek advice on major choices, we know our choices will not only shape who we are but our future happiness and peace of mind. There’s one choice we tend to seek the most advice on and even when we don’t we tend to get the tons of unsolicited advice anyway, relationships. In fact some believe there are a set of unspoken rules regarding relationships. Well if you ask me, and even if you didn’t I’m going to tell you anyway, there’s only one rule. Know what you want.

  This isn’t as easy as it sounds because it involves knowing and being true to yourself. This is doubly hard when it comes to relationships because we have to decide what it is we want in others. Of course we all want someone who compliments us in the right ways. So after we get done figuring ourselves out we then have to figure how someone we may like fits into our lives. We can like and even love people that are totally wrong for us because we aren’t being true to ourselves. So here’s my two cents on the matter, take it or love it, in three points.

1.       The choice is yours. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink. Remember that saying and apply it! You are the only one who has to lay down next to the person you choose. You don’t have to explain or justify your choices to anyone. That means, mother, father sister or brother because they don’t have to be with the person you’ve chosen. So unless you have an some kind of wife swap family/friends orgy planned for the holidays or you’re being physically abused everyone can butt out

2.       Don’t compare. It’s easy to be on the outside looking in and think someone else has it better but remember you choose who you choose for a reason. Or perhaps you’ve even chosen to be single for a reason. No matter how lonely you may feel, somebody liked or likes you right now and you don’t want to get with them for whatever reason you have and are entitled to. Some might look at those they came up with and say everyone’s paired off and has children and I’m still alone, why? Because you want to be.

3.       Which brings us to our last point. Take ownership. There are books, movies, television shows and websites all dedicated to helping you find that perfect someone. But in this we forget our own power. Once upon a time I worked at a fast food chain with a 23 year old male virgin. You’d think he was out there desperately trying to get laid and just being shot down. Well you’d be wrong. He was a reclusive person with some pretty high standards that others found ridiculous but ultimately it was his ding dong so his choice.