#BeThe1To Save a Life

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day.

I was twelve years old the first time I thought about ending my life.  I remember lying on the ground in my room exhaling as deeply as I could and thinking what a relief it would be if I never took that breath back in.

I was fifteen the first time I put action behind those thoughts.  My suicide attempt was a failure, obviously, but it was a success in that it taught me a few important lessons about myself:

1) I learned that I could survive.  One of the lies depression tells you about yourself is that you're weak, but surviving this attempt was one of many subsequent proofs that I was anything but.  I am strong.  I am a warrior.  A survivor.  And remembering this would become one of many weapons I would come to rely on in future battles.

2) I learned that I didn't need anyone to save me.  That I could be that hero for myself.  See, no one found me, rescued me, went out got me the help that I so desperately needed then.  In fact, I'm sure people who knew me at this time would be surprised in learning that I felt this way or went as far as to take steps to end my own life.  While that's certainly not a good thing, making it through on my own made me realize that even when I felt utterly alone, I was worth fighting for, and I was strong enough for the fight.

and 3) I learned that I didn't really want to die.  I was seeking an end to my pain, not my life.  Only the lines had become blurred to the point where I thought that was all my life was ever going to be, pain.  Boy, was I wrong!

It was these realizations that made youth suicide prevention a cause that has, and will always remain, near and dear to my heart.

I remember reading about Leelah Alcorn and being filled with such sadness that she did not have the opportunity to see things get better in her life.  That no one was there to shine a light and show her the way out of her darkness, and that she was better at suicide than I was.  I feel the same every time I hear about a someone, but especially someone young, who succumbs to the lies and the darkness, not knowing that just up ahead they had a future that was so very bright.

I am alive today; and it is my duty to let other people who feel the way I did (the way I sometimes still do) know that they are not alone.  And that they are stronger than the sadness and the negative self talk, the doubts, the fears and most importantly the lies.  

A part of defeating those lies includes breaking down the stigma associated with depression and suicide.  People think of suicide as the coward's way out, and people who are depressed as weak.  But it takes an enormous amount of strength and courage to face these internal monsters, to seek help, to fight for your life and a better tomorrow, to have hope in the midst of utter bleakness and despair. 

People battling depression, anxiety, mental illness and suicide are not cowards! 

Did you know American Veterans are as much as 50% more likely to commit suicide than those who did not serve?  Numbers as high as 22 per day have been touted, and studies have shown that we have lost more service men and women to suicide than in combat! 

This is not out of weakness or cowardice.  

We are all human beings with very real thresholds and limitations to our strength.  When you cease to see a path that leads out of your pain, your only concern becomes creating one.  Ending that pain.  By any means necessary.  

Now whether that be pain of past emotional trauma, perceived failure or lack of acceptance does not matter.  What matters is that this pain is real, and perceived as unending.  That is another lie, but one that unfortunately the person in pain cannot see around.

Depression is not something you just get over.  It is a life long battle.  Against yourself, for yourself, and no one can fight this one for you.

However, there are ways that we can support those who are fighting this battle.

One way is to learn the warning signs of depression and suicide.

Once you have learned and identified these signs in a loved one, you must show them that you genuinely care about them.  Allow them space to talk about their feelings without judgement and listen.  Next ask the question: "Are you thinking of ending your life or otherwise harming yourself?"  And be prepared to hear their answer.  If they say yes, connect them with a professional who is trained in crisis intervention that can help.  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week: 1(800)273-TALK. 

The most important thing to remember is to never leave someone alone who is suicidal.

By learning the warning signs and showing you care, together we can stop the stigma and help prevent suicide!

Here are some other things you can do to raise awareness about suicide prevention:

Join the Take 5 Movement.

Like the National Suicide Prevention Facebook Page.

Share or change your social media profile picture to let those battling with depression know that they are not alone.