Infidelity, Pre-nups, Divorces, OH MY!

 

People often wax nostalgic about the days of yesteryear when love was forever and there was no need for pre-nups. But as always when reminiscing about the past we tend to forget that things were far from perfect then. We think that back then people got married before having children and then stayed together no matter what. We even attribute the increase in unemployment and crime to the fact that marriage or fidelity in general are increasingly less of a priority in industrialized nations across the globe. Now while I’m a great supporter of honor and commitment I know the world did not deteriorate due to increased divorce rates. We see an increase in crime and unemployment these days due the death of American manufacturing and advancements in technology.

   If you’re lucky and live long enough you’ll come to know that in life we must take the good with the bad. Just because people rarely divorced back then does not mean they were faithful or even happy. The issue was society publically shunned anyone who’d gotten a divorce. So you had women who stayed in abusive marriages with cheating spouses and men who stayed in damn near celibate marriages with emotionally abusive spouses. (This is just as bad ladies! The same scripture that discourages infidelity says do not deny your spouse less you lead them to temptation!)

Things have not changed as much as we think. Sadly there will always be people who take advantage of the status quo. So back then you had both men and women who took advantage of the fact that their spouse was kinda stuck with them. Now a days there are both men and women who take advantage of the many, many options available because we have planes, trains and cars to take us across the nation sampling sexy people along the way. Or the internet where we can look at or make connections with people millions of miles away from the comfort of their own homes. This will mean some people just will not take the institution of marriage or commitment seriously at all.  

  These people are selfish and selfish people have always existed. They’ve just recently been able to come out of hiding. The only thing any of us can do is be careful who we fuck with. Point. Blank. Period. Of course this guarantees nothing but it’s the difference between investing and gambling. When dealing with people it’s best to use a calculated risk. This means knowing what you want. We can’t live our lives based on what others want for us. For some people the white picket fence life where the husband works and the wife stays home with the kids is ideal.

  For others not so much. Some women love their careers and some men love homemaking, cooking arts and crafts, decorating, etc. This does not make either any less man or women. It’s important not to pick a life partner on superficial things because they will fade. Looks and money can be gone in the blink of an eye(god forbid) but we don’t love people based on these things. Superficial things attract us but they don’t keep our attention. For example when you see a pair of shoes that you just have to have it’s likely not the last pair of shoes that will give you that “gotta have it” feeling. It’s the same with people. Attraction isn’t enough.

  Besides there are more important things. In terms of a life partner eliminate anyone who just doesn’t get you. You don’t want constantly explain yourself. And it goes without saying that anyone who doesn’t respect you can go fuck themselves. Most importantly be sure the person you are planning a life with has the same goals as you. If things are getting serious be on the same page about whether or not you want children, (adopted or natural born), where you want to live, and MONEY. That means determining who makes it, who manages it, and what it will be invested in. Also remember even back in the day for working class people both spouses usually worked and shared all responsibilities.

Finally I’ll talk about selfishness. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish. WHAT! Yes there is nothing wrong with being selfish as long as you understand that in order to be selfish you have to do it BY YOUR DAMN SELF. If you want to be a playboy or playgirl, as most of us did in our younger days, you don’t get to drag somebody along for the ride with you. Don’t expect loyalty if you’re not willing to give it. Don’t make bullshit excuses like they’re probably cheating on me too or my all-time favorite all men cheat. No they don’t that’s just what cheaters say to make themselves feel better. The real saying should be all trifling people cheat. Sadly trifling people rarely date each other because someone has to be the sucker. And when two trifling people do link up they tend to last forever.

  My point is if you want to be free to do whatever you want with whoever you want whenever you want be single. Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. When you make a commitment to someone mean it. That’s it and that’s all. Let’s keep the values of yesteryear like honor and commitment (Whether its to someone or ourselves and our goals) without the hypocritical judgment people were famous for in the past.