A Day With The #PMS Monster

Well for most men, they deal with the repercussions of the being on the recipient end of PMS. If you aren’t aware, PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome), is something that occurs before a woman has her monthly cycle every month. The increased hormones a woman experiences can sometimes make her irritable, stressed, body ache, etc. So here is a day in the life of a woman who is PMSing. Maybe if you guys can understand how we feel, you can be nicer and bring us cookies/ice cream.

 

7:30 AM—Get out of bed . . . try to anyway . . . ugh . . .

7:37 AM—Hit the snooze one more time . . . fml . . .

7:44 AM—Turn alarm off an literally roll out of bed . . . stumble to the bathroom . . . looks at self in mirror . . . ugh . . . notice the bags under eyes . . . fml . . . sees pimple . . . WTF . . . shower.

7:50 AM—Back in the mirror . . . still tired looking . . . ugh . . . wash face, brush teeth.

7:55 AM—Fumble around in the closet . . . there’s nothing to wear . . . ugh . . . try on 15 outfits . . . notices the bloating . . . ugh everything looks terrible . . . looks back at the bed longingly . . . sighs . . . settles on the most flattering outfit . . .

8:10 AM—Hair . . . why won’t it behave . . . wah . . . deep breaths . . . make-up  . . . eyeliner please cooperate . . . fml . . . looks at time . . . SHIT.

8:40 AM—Speeding to work . . . no traffic, no traffic, no traffic, no traffic . . . RED LIGHT . . . ARGH!!! FML!!! OLD NON DRIVING %&$%# @*&%*&# @!*#$*@ %*@#$*$ *@@$@#*

8:55 AM—Good parking, Good parking, Good parking . . . yes! Geez . . .

9:00 AM—Only 8 more hours . . .

12:00 PM—Everyone is looking at the fats . . . fml . . . if this chick says one more thing . . . how annoying . . . mmmm cake . . . what about the diet . . . but the cake looks so good . . . getting the cake.

12:30 PM—Can’t believe I got the cake . . . ugh . . . maybe if I walk fast I can burn those calories . . . my fats . . . this dress looks terrible . . . I hate these shoes . . . man this chick is talking my ear off . . . ugh . . . what if there was a mute button . . . only like 4ish hours left . . . fml . . .

2:00 PM—Time flies when you’re having fun . . .

2:01 PM—Yup there it goes . . . time you are awesome . . . fml . . .

2:02 PM—So he’s just going to not text me all day . . .

2:03 PM—He doesn’t even care . . .

2:05 PM—He can go on IG, Snapchat and FB but he can’t text me . . . ass . . .

2:06 PM—Really . . . He’s all having fun and enjoying life . . .

2:07 PM—Nope nothing yet . . .

2:10 PM—I'm never talking to him again.

4:00 PM—He didn’t even ask how my day was . . . did he even think about me today . . . I'm deleting his number . . . I should just text him . . . no! BE STRONG, BE STRONG, BE STRONG!

4:59 PM—One more minute until I'm free!

5:01 PM—Homeward bound!

5:05 PM—TRAFFIC! UGH! EVERY FREAKIN DAY! #%^#%$ @%#$^%$#$ @$%%^$^%$ #@$^%%%

6:00 PM—couch.

6:15 PM—Raid Fridge

6:38 PM—OH now he wants to text me . . . hmmph!

6:45 PM—Hes’ so sweet . . . I miss him . . .

7:30 PM—Aw he’s coming over!

7:45 PM—Looks at messy apartment . . . CRAP! Speed clean commencing . . . ugh so much junk . . . fml . . . I should just throw everything in the garbage . . .

7:50 PM—Looks in mirror . . . OMG . . . attempts to get it together . . . wah . . . I look a mess . . .

8:00 PM—DING DONG . . .ugh not done . . . my fats . . . wah . . . sigh . . . okay get it together . . .

8:05 PM—I hope I don’t look fat . . . He didn’t notice my new haircut . . . he doesn’t care about me . . .

8:15 PM—I love when he holds me . . .

9:50 PM—He has the best goodnight kisses . . . sigh . . .

10:00 PM—sleep . . . or television . . . ugh . . . fml . . . my back is killing me . . .