Friend zone--Death of a Friendship

 

The “friend zone”. First let me define it. The “friend zone” is a made up term that describes the boundaries that one person usually sets on another that restricts the existence of a romantic relationship or any sexual activity. So basically the person only wants a platonic relationship, strictly friends. What is wrong with that? Seems like men are more upset about this fictitious zone than women these days, or maybe that’s just how it is in my life. I mean I'm always down to high five and be friends yet apparently for the men that keep crossing my path, it is an unacceptable. So this brings up the hot button question, can men and women actual be friends?

The debate is out there. Most men say no, most women say yes, and I'm on the fence with the issue. It would seem that in most situations there is always someone who longs for more. It may not be right away but eventually, one of the two in the situation will attempt to “cross the line” or “make a move”. That can only go one of two ways: Awesome, “OMG the feeling is mutual!”, or Awkward, “I wish you wouldn’t have done that!”. So what do we do? Do we just stop trying to hang out with the opposite sex? Or can we find a way to build bridges and get over it? What is so wrong with being friends with no sexual benefits? I understand we are all animals, no matter how snobbish/intellectual we think we are, so without the aspects of mating between the two sexes it would appear that a friendship with no prospect of growing into more would be a waste of time. So why would you want to hang out with someone who has no potential of being your mate? Heterosexual people of the same sex hang out all the time without thinking about sexual benefits and that doesn’t end their friendships. I think you can still have fun with others without wanting to get into their pants! It doesn’t always have to be about sex between men and women. Homies, I love to high five! My sentiments may not be shared by others or by the males that hope to pursue me only to find that the “friend zone” is not where they want to be. I guess for the person who is on the other side, the “friend zone”, is like starving yourself only to go to a buffet where you can’t eat but hey, maybe the food isn’t the important part. Maybe the important part is being with your friends and sharing experiences together.

So if you’re in the “friend zone” it’s not the end of the world. Enjoy the time you spend with your friend and appreciate that someone wants to be around you strictly for your personality. No pressure. No ulterior motives. This really doesn’t have to be the death of your friendship. No need for the dramatics. Can’t we all just . . . get along . . .