Being Blasian
Ethnicity:
Check one. That was probably one of the toughest choices I had while I was
growing up. If I chose African American or black that would be acknowledging my
father and his heritage while neglecting my Asian side derived from my mother.
Being biracial was difficult because as a person in a society that relies
heavily on categorizing its individuals, I am an outsider. I am never black enough
for my black friends nor am I Asian enough for my Asian friends. It was as if I
was living on the margins of a piece of college ruled paper. I was not part of
the white or black in a society where grays didn’t really have a big voice. No
one wants gray because gray does not fit into a category to be easily stored
away.
The
idea for me to write about this and express the trials I’ve faced came from the
morning of a drunken night that resulted in a stupid argument with a friend I
had known for quite some time. It was quite a harmless debate that had
seriously gone awry. We went over to a black guy’s house and he was the proud
owner of a cat. Debate ensued about whether or not black people owned cats. I
stated that I had previously owned cats and my friend responded, “But you’re
Asian.” Yes it is true half of me is Korean but I don’t feel like that makes me
any less black. Not only did I have cats, my grandmother and aunt had also
previously owned cats, my black grandmother and aunt for that matter. Actually
my Korean grandmother hates cats and loves dogs. My frustration came from the
fact that what I had to say was invalid in the argument because apparently as I
half-breed I have no understanding of what it is to be a part of the black
community.
Throughout
my life I have always identified myself more with the black community because
face it, there aren’t any brown Koreans around. In fact, when people attempt to
“figure” out which box I check, most often I'm Pacific Islander. Though
strangely enough, it’s the white communities that don’t have much contact with
black people that can usually identify me as black and then are surprised when
they find out I'm Korean as well. They just assume I'm a pretty black girl.
Which is a whole completely separate can of worms I will not open today but black women
are beautiful is all I will say to that matter. Any ways, it astounds me all the lengths
of non-acceptance and prejudices that exist out there, like for example, the whole beef between dark
skinned black people and the light skinned. Also another can of worms I will
not open. Though I will say, I have been called a “nigger” several times in
real life by some ignorant white people, not to say you guys are all ignorant.
Some of the times were actually quite recent and none of them were provoked,
i.e., once I was just walking down the street and some guy yelled it out of a
car. This is a subject I would need another blog to divulge about. Let me just
say though, the ignorance and the prejudice are still widely around so if you
think the fight for equality is over, you’re sadly mistaken.
I'm
just going to close with what I know to be true. I'm half black and half Korean.
Equally both and I'm proud to be equally so. I don’t need to prove I'm a black
woman, because I AM a black woman. I don’t need to prove I'm a Korean woman
because I AM a Korean woman. Period.
Greetings from Bali.. i am interested in biracial topic for my thesis.. how can i in-touch with you? Best regards Pasek.
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