I love infatuation

I love infatuation. That tingly feeling you get when you’re really feeling someone you just met. It’s enchanting, like a magic spell, your heart is beating fast and you can’t stop thinking about that special someone. It makes whatever problems life might be dealing you seem small. It’s a welcome distraction with all we grown adults have to deal with. Ain’t a damn thing wrong with being attracted to someone but how can we tell the difference between love and infatuation. Once upon a time as a cocky teenager I thought I had it all figured out. I would look at girls who claimed to be in love every other week and say to myself that’s not love, I know what love is and that’s not it.

  Well it turns out I didn’t know as much I thought I did. I’ve always been a people pleaser and in the past I’ve even been accused of trying too hard to get people to like me. Don’t get me wrong anyone that ever pushed me to far found out that I was far from a push over but I never found it necessary to fight every tiny battle. It just wasn’t worth it to me. Only I did have a problem with trying to be the “perfect” girl for the man that I thought loved. I didn’t want to be like those other girls.

  I didn’t want to fight over petty things. So if something bothered me I didn’t say anything. For example, before I met my current love I’d only been in love once in all my 27 years. The object of that love worked with a girl who harbored a little crush on him that he claimed not to reciprocate. I didn’t worry too much about it because she happened to be pregnant with another man’s baby. Well her baby daddy had a problem with my then boyfriend for god knows why and threatened him. So my then boyfriend was planning to fight this guy over dude’s baby mama who he claimed not to like, the f*ck.

  In hindsight I should have gone clean off and screamed at him, “Why the f*ck would fight another man over his baby mama when you’re supposed to be with me. Do you like this b*tch?!” But I didn’t, I chose a nicer tack and told him I was worried about him fighting a guy that was just out of prison and had nothing to lose. Which was true but I left out the part about how it made me feel.  He didn’t end up fighting the guy because one of his best friends’ who he was always quoting told him he didn’t think it was a good idea. This bothered me as well and what I wanted to say was “Dude suck his d*ck already because I’m tired of hearing what he said.”

  I know my thoughts were immature but I was under 20 years old and in fact immature. I was also so busy TRYING to be the girl I thought he wanted I never actually opened up and let him get to know me. So while he professed his love the fact was he didn’t even know me. And that’s the difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation is ignorant bliss. All I really cared to know about ol’ boy is that he looked good to me, he made me laugh, and feel special which a beautiful thing was.

  But love is way deeper than that. Love wants to know everything. When you love someone you believe in them and care more about their hopes and dreams than they do. Mankind knew nothing of real love until Jesus. God tried loving us from his throne on high but we weren’t getting it so he came down to show us how it was done. He died for us and believe it or not that’s love. It’s not something that’s built overnight and it’s not based on fickle things. I used to think the perfect guy for me had to be tall with lots of tattoos. (Lucky me that’s exactly what my boyfriend looks like.) Yet while the physical attracts us it’s respect that keeps us around. If all you’re bringing to the table is face and @ss that and two dollars will buy you a coke.

    So while infatuation is so exciting and fun real love knows your flaws down to the dirtiest cracks and crevices and won’t judge you for it. While infatuation has to front love never has to ask what you will think of me.  So while there’s not a damn thing wrong with infatuation it saves one a lot of heart ache to know the difference.