You is Worrisome...Part I

    In life it is often hard to cope with…well people. The fact is sometimes people really suck. We each have the innate ability to be aggravating, argumentative, unbearable pests. And whether we care to admit, even to ourselves, we’ve all been guilty of this at least once. I don’t exclude myself from this. I’m aware of my faults but and I’ve learned to love them as the intricate pieces that make me who I am. One you may have noticed if you’re a fan is that I’m long winded. I’m also guilty of a very common form of aggravation, being self absorbed. I for damn sure am not alone there. So I’d like to explore it a bit so we can all learn how deal with others when they're being unbearable and even reel in our own B.S.

  The real tragedy of self-absorption is that the culprit usually doesn’t realize what they’re doing. So I’ll give you three little known forms of self-absorption. Let’s kick it off with the most dreaded…

 

Cry Baby- We all know them. It’s that person you can’t ask how they’re doing because they're going to tell you. They are never having a good day. Granted the first time you heard them sigh with that puppy dog face and say, “I’m so ugly and stupid plus I have no friends. I’m never going to lose this weight and my own cat doesn’t like me. Even my mother tells me I’m ugly and I this cough keeps getting worse but I can’t afford to go to the doctor. Who cares if I die anyway,” You were like damn I don’t know whether to give them a hug or call an ambulance so they can be put on suicide watch. You might have said an encouraging word or even come up off a few bucks.  Only in time you came to realize this mofo did not want help or advice…they wanted somebody to whine to.

 

A month into knowing them you were ready to grab them up by the collar and shake them screaming, “Shut your depressing @ss up. I can’t take it no more every day it’s something new with you. Last week when I said I had a cold you told me you caught the Ebola virus. You have got to be making half this sh*t up. Nobody’s life is this terrible every damn day. Maybe you’re just ungrateful. You need to get over yourself.I got problems too” Then you’d just walk off. Only you couldn’t do that because you were at work or you didn’t want to hurt their feelings.

  Still you feel as if you hear one more sob story you'll help them kill themselves, so what do you do? Well there are several ways to deal with the cry baby and I’ll lay them out for you now. The first and most obvious solution is to ignore them. Don’t ask them how they’re doing, don’t even say hi. Just give them a brief nod and hurry off. If that isn’t possible another route is to out whine them. Whatever their exaggerated sob story is top it with your own. If they insist on telling you some uncomfortable self-deprecating story about how no one likes them. Turn around and  tell them that you can’t get a date because of your irritable bowl syndrome and terrible sweaty foot odor and fungus. Bring it home by saying your last date ditched you at an Indian restaurant when you farted and left skit marks in your white pants. They will be seeking pity elsewhere.

  Or if they're still your homie and just going through something you could be what my mother, The Original Diva, likes to call nice and nasty. Be honest with them which may hurt but do it nicely. If they call themselves stupid don’t tell them “Then read a damn book.” Instead tell a personal story about how you once felt slower than others and that you exercised you mind with books, games, puzzles, etc. Let them know everyone has their own strengths and that there are many types of intelligence. If they want to improve they should explore mind strengthening hobbies like learning to play an instrument or a new language. Bottom line they need something to do to get their mind off feeling sorry for themselves. If they complain about their weight invite them to take walks with you whenever you have the time. Most importantly let them know that you don’t want hear their whining in a polite but direct manner. You can say something like, “Look I love you but I’m tired of hearing about this. You have two choices except it or change it and I’ll support you either way. I’m just not going to listen to you talk about it anymore,” then change the subject. #oldschool

P.S. Tomorrow we explore the second little known form of self-absorption and how to deal with it…The one uppers.